The edible plates
by Chibi Teazer
Summary: What happens when Electra and Etcetera go exploring together?? Want to know?? Click that link above... go on!! I dare you!
1. Default Chapter

Well, this is really quite lame this one. But read it anyway and tell me what you think.  
  
  
  
THE EDIBLE PLATES.  
  
Everything was quiet in the junkyard. Everything was quiet until a certain pair of over excited kittens came running into the junkyard awakening all the queens.  
  
"Guess what we just found!!" bouncily Etcetera said.  
  
"It's soooooooo coooooool!!" Electra added using one of the words she'd picked up from the humans.  
  
"Dear lord, don't tell me they've found another television." Said Demeter sighing heavily.  
  
"Nope!" was the excited reply coming from Electra.  
  
"I noe. they nicke' a pair of Lady Ro'erdams' undies again?" said Rumpleteazer giggling on top of the car.  
  
"You better not have done that again my girl!" warned Jenny  
  
"That was an accident!" defended Etcetera. "How were we to know that she kept her undies pegged up outside on a piece of string?"  
  
"Yeah, she was a bit daft wasn't she? But nope that's not right either."  
  
"Just tell us and get it over with." Said Bombalurina.  
  
"Well, we found…"  
  
"We found a new…."  
  
"Hey! Quit trying to finish my sentences!"  
  
"Come on! Say it already!" said Exotica.  
  
"We found a new place where humans sell edible plates! Any they're really yummy!"  
  
"Edible plates? That's impossible!" scoffed Jelly.  
  
"It is not impossible. Only irregular." Came the mystical voice of Tantomile.  
  
"But still? It's pretty unbelievable!" said Victoria.  
  
"No! It's true! We'll take you all there!" said Electra  
  
So the Jellicle queens started their long journey to the edible plates. They decided not to tell the toms about their little expedition. Why share Electra and Etcetera's little secret? But as they crept past the sleeping toms Rumpleteazer couldn't help herself. She yelled in a 'Demeter' type voice as loudly as she could:  
  
"MACAVITY!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Needless to say all the toms were awake after that. The queens made a dash for the front of the junkyard. The toms were to busy searching for the non- existent-at-that-point-in-time Macavity. So they didn't notice them running away.  
  
"What did you do that for! Stupid queen!" Yelled Bombi at Teazer.  
  
"I don't sound like that do I? Not when I scream out that? I don't do I?" asked Demeter.  
  
"Of course not dear." Said Jelly comfortingly. "Now. We have to find the edible plates. Right Cety? Right Leccy?"  
  
"Yeah!" they both said in unison.  
  
They continued down the street they were in. No one payed them any notice even though there were about twelve queens walking down the street. In those parts alley cats were common. Electra and Etcetera led them down a side street to what looked like a skip bin (or dumpster to people not in Australia).  
  
"This is where you found edible plates?" said Demeter disbelievingly.  
  
"No, we have to go inside here." Said Leccy pointing to a door.  
  
They all traipsed inside quietly and padded over to where Etcetera was already sitting.  
  
"We have to be quiet otherwise the cook guy won't give us anything. He said so before."  
  
All the cats nodded and a few of them umm'ed and okayed. They all sat down on the cool white tiles.  
  
"Ha! I be' oi coul' ge' tha' thingie up there!" said Teazer pointing to a round blade on a handle.  
  
All the cats watched her in disbelief as she jumped stealthily onto one of the large benches that were around the walls. She slunk slowly down the bench almost blending into the colour of the walls (which is rather hard to do when the walls are white… heh heh heh). She finally reached the area where many tools were hung up on the wall. She reached up and grabbed the funny shiny thing. She dropped it onto the tiles. Not expecting the large clatter that happened after the aforementioned tool was dropped she puffed up and fell off the bench. She sat up a bit stunned.  
  
"Damn it. Something alwaiz goez rong wen oi try ta steal sumfin wifout Jerrie."  
  
She had managed to unintentionally gain the attention of the chef. He looked a bit surprised to see so many cats in his shop. Then he saw one of the kits that he knew. He started to talk in an Italian accent.  
  
"Darling! I thought you wasna going to come back after that poochie came anda triedta have a piece of you!" he gently picked up Etcetera.  
  
"What is he talking about my girl?" asked Jenny sternly.  
  
"Er… eep… well I sorta got into a fight with a doggie…"  
  
"Didja beet him?"  
  
"Rumpleteazer!"  
  
"Wot?"  
  
"Now my kitty. I will try my a new pizza on you! Itsa prawn anda fishey one."  
  
"Meow…!!" she said as enthusiastically as she could.  
  
"I knew you woulda like that!" he laughed.  
  
All the cats stared in disbelief as the man brought down a round brown plate. On it there were all sorts of seafood delights. They followed him outside to where a small table was set up on the other side of the skip bin. He lay the plate down. All the cats jumped up but just as they got up Demeter yelled (no not 'MACAVITY')  
  
"Get off! This table is unstable!"  
  
So they jumped off. Etcetera passed pieces of the 'plate' down to them and they ate it all up hungrily.  
  
"Darling, I honestly don't think that was a plate." Said Cassandra after she had eaten her fill.  
  
"Yeah, I think it was something else cause we would have seen them around the junkyard."  
  
"I heard that funny man call it a peet sa."  
  
"A wot?"  
  
"A peet sa."  
  
"Who's Peet? And what's a 'Sa'?"  
  
"No oidea. Maybe theya' the goiys oo made theze fingys?" Suggested Rumpleteazer.  
  
"Well, whatever this Peet sa is we should probably go and tell Munkustrap about it." Said Jenny.  
  
"I agree wholeheartedly." Said Jelly.  
  
"No way!" said Etcetera.  
  
"Yeah! We should keep this to ourselves! Why share it with the guys? Right Teazer?" she looked over at Teazer who was shaking her head.  
  
"Sorri goiys. This toime oi agree wif Jen an Jel. Oi don wan ta ge' on the rong soide of Munku again af'er las' toime."  
  
All the CATS cringed at the thought of 'last time' which had included many of the queens in their group and some green food colouring. By the end of that little episode all the CATS had seemed a little bit *ahem* green. (Well I kinda didn't have a better word……)  
  
"Me to. I don't think that Cori would like it. Besides he'll know as soon as we get back." Said Tantomile  
  
"How?" asked Demeter.  
  
"We recently learned mind reading."  
  
"Oh.. right…"  
  
"C'mon. I want to get back it's getting rather late anyway." Said Exotica.  
  
All the CATS traipsed around the front side of the Peet sa place.  
  
"I say we bring the toms here." Said Bombi.  
  
"Oi don't, I jus reckon we don tell em the entoire trufe."  
  
"That could work…"  
  
"Of course it would!"  
  
So happily all the queens started back to the junkyard.  
  
Now I hear you ask what were the toms up to while they were off eating their Peet sa? Well you'll just have to wait for the next chapter! (If you really want to read it that is….) 


	2. The Edible plates part two - Or what hap...

Here it is… the Edible plates part two. I much stupider one than the first one. Meh… only posting it cause if I don't post something people will start wondering if I'm still alive. But I've got a good 'n' serious piece coming up soon about Tanto and Cori… so be watching for that..!  
  
Umm… if anyone wants to post my ficcie's on their site (Like JestaAriadne has… *grin*)… I'd like that… so email me and I'll send the files… please…. *grin again*  
  
Anyway disclaimer…..  
  
Disclaimer: This story belongs to me. I don't own anything to do with CATS… (except Old possum's Book Of Practical CATS, the video, a cassette and the Australian Cast recording CD) I'm disappointed but I'm sure I'll get over it.  
  
THE EDIBLE PLATES  
  
It had been a simple, quiet morning in the junkyard. The queens had gone off to their half of it and the toms were off on their side. It wasn't a sexist act or anything but I mean, c'mon, even female cats need their space once in a while, right? So they had gone off and were chatting. The toms didn't even want to know what they were talking about as it probably had something to do with Etcetera, Electra and Rumpleteazer's newest prank. The three kittens had been 'hanging out' a lot recently and all the toms had felt the weight of that. Admetus was still trying to figure out how the three of them had managed to find the large shower head (you know the part that sprays the water) and attach it to a water system and then (you know what comes next) run it through his den, flooding it. Anyway back to the general plot line of the story. The toms were all sunning themselves, many of them were fast asleep, so they didn't notice the queens leaving the junkyard. The only cat who did was Coricopat who knew everything before it happened. He watched as they snuck away not really caring where they were going as Tantomile would either tell him later or he would prise it out of her. Either way, he wasn't worried in the least. He decided that he needed serious 'alone' time and wandered into the depths of the junkyard. He didn't hear when Rumpleteazer startled all the males and he certainly didn't see the huge Macavity search that was going on either. So in the middle of the junkyard (CT - How did I end up in the middle of the junkyard?)…. Scrap that last thought… let's go back to the toms. (CT – oh yeah… I was trying to get rid of Coricopat…)  
  
"HEY!" (CT – Just start thinking about life okay!)  
  
So Coricopat started thinking about life. And then we all go back to the scene in the middle of the junkyard. The huge Macavity search.  
  
"Where are you Macavity!" yelled Munkustrap.  
  
Looking even more like a dink because what sort of idiot, human or feline, show themselves on someone else's command? (Only a Macavity Idiot would do that) Macavity indeed was nearby but was not trying to cause trouble (CT – Is that even possible?? I mean… he's Macavity!) he was actually searching for his lunch. So he was rather surprised to hear them yelling at him for no reason. So being the idiot that he is (remember.. the Macavity idiot?) he went in search of the bellowing Jellicle. He did find him in the middle of the junkyard.  
  
"What have I done now?!?!" Asked Macavity in bewilderment.  
  
"You took our queens!" yelled Pouncival  
  
"News to me buddy. Like I want them after the last time I nicked one."  
  
All the toms shuddered at the thought of what had happened to him when he had tried to 'nick' Bombi. He had ended up with a garden gnome in a rather 'awkward' place… (no elaboration needed on that).  
  
"Bu' yoo are the onlee wun 'oo wood take the queens!" came the cockney accented calico tom also known as Mungojerrie. (CT - Heh heh heh that was a fun sentence to write… to many adjectives I think… meh… life goes on…)  
  
"Who's to say they didn't go off on their own away from sissy toms like you!" said Macavity menacingly.  
  
"Who are you calling a sissy!" came the over proud voice of a certain cat also known as Rum Tum Tugger. (Heh heh heh)  
  
"You, dear brother."  
  
"Let me attim!!!" yelled the Rum Tum Tugger, unsheathing his claws and hissing like a madcat.  
  
"RESTRAIN HIM!!!" one of them yelled.  
  
"How?!"  
  
"Just do it!!"  
  
So in the end Tugger was on the ground with Alonzo sitting on his stomach, Misto on his legs and Pouncival and Tumblebrutus holding his arms down.  
  
"Why did you stop me!!" tugger yelled.  
  
CT – Because Tugger, all stories need a villain and I can't go about killing Macavity because that would make the kits think I'm a meanie.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
Never mind….  
  
"Shall we get back to the problem at hand?" one of the toms piped up.  
  
"Admetus is right. We need to find our queens." Agreed Alonzo.  
  
"You can go back to what you were doing Macavity." Said Tumblebrutus (Still on Tugger's leg if you wanted to know)  
  
"But I'm booooored."  
  
"We don't care." Said Munkustrap.  
  
"Yeah… we don' care.. so go awai." Said Mungojerrie.  
  
So Macavity went away feeling degraded and annoyed. He was mainly annoyed that his ex-henchcat was the one that had made him go away in the end. He'll get over it. So back in the junkyard the situation is as follows:  
  
Coricopat has gone away to be by himself (Cori - well CT actually had to figure out how to get rid of me so that I couldn't read any minds and tell them where the queens are.) (CT – Go back to doing nothing please Coricopat!) and Tugger is on his back with four toms restraining him as he is in a rather irate mood (Tugger – You think?!?!?!?!?!). And of course the most important part the queens are all missing.  
  
At that instant Mungojerrie had a bright idea. (One of the very few that doesn't include stealing something for Teazer, with Teazer or from Teazer.)  
  
"Wot if we jus' leave them to I' an' 'ope tha' they come back?"  
  
(Cori – That's a bright idea?) (Shuttup Coricopat…)  
  
"I don't think that will work." Said Munku looking decidedly annoyed.  
  
"Well, we can't just give up on the search." Admetus said.  
  
"He's right." Said Pounce.  
  
"Oi don' really care. Teaze can ge' 'erself ou' a anythin'. If they ge' inta trouble she'll ge' em ou'!"  
  
All the cats looked at each other in fear. Everyone knew what Teazer was like when she tried to 'help'. Last time she had tried to 'help' Jenny with her sewing and unpicked three hours worth of sewing. Needless to say she stayed away from Jenny for the rest of that day. Funnily enough Mungojerrie still thought that Teazer's help was the best thing since sliced bread.  
  
"I say we put out a search party." Said Tumble.  
  
"Why not." Said Tugger. "I'll head a group."  
  
All the cats looked at him and a few of them snorted a little.  
  
"You only want your fan club back." Accused Admetus.  
  
"So? Got a problem with that? (Please note he's still on the floor. Tugger is even worse when he's up. He's sort of like accident prone.) And when are you gonna get these cats off of me?" pointing the last part of that question to Munku.  
  
"Never, I like you in that position."  
  
Munkustrap laughed maniacally as Tugger just… well… lay there.  
  
"Do any of you guys think that Munku is losing it?" asked Admetus to the 'boys'.  
  
"Oh yeah." Said Pouncival.  
  
The rest of them looked to Tumble in await of his 'snappy' remark that always came after Pouncival's but it didn't come. He was to busy staring at disgust at Munkustrap.  
  
"Hey!" he finally bellowed at Munkustrap "You're supposed to be the bloody leader of this tribe! Find the *BEEEEEEEEP* queens!!"  
  
Everything was immediately quiet. (Cricket noises are heard)  
  
(Cori – That is so sad… this is the sort of drivel you come up with?) (Go away. Go back to contemplating life) So Coricopat contemplated life.  
  
And at that very moment… guess who walked into the junkyard. (I'll give you three guesses. But if you need that many…)  
  
Now you guys have to wait for part three….. *grin*  
  
I'm trying hard to write lots before school goes back but I mean that's in less than 24 hours and I know that my school will be piling the work on a poor year nine gal like me-self. (Private schools in Sydney are like that… damn them…) As I said… less than 24 hours…. (today is the 29th of January 2002 and the time is 10:56… don't ask… I just like being exact… hmmm speaking of the time… I think it's breakfast….) 


	3. The final installment in this rubbish......

Okay, lets review shall we? The toms think that the queens are missing, Coricopat is contemplating life somewhere (Cori – You keep tellin yourself that…. I'm really thinking up a very intelligent way of revenge MWA HA HA HA!!!) (CT – Coricopat decided to go and jump in a lake… ) (Cori – I hate you) when he decided to jump into a lake, the Rum Tum Tugger is being restrained even though he is not irate anymore, Munkustrap has gone slightly insane, (Sorri Munkustrap lovers but I think with all the resposibility that Munku has wouldn't you go insane after a little while? I honestly thought that in the Peke's and the Pollicles he was going to faint!) and someone (CT – Or should I say lots of someones) has just entered the junkyard.  
  
"Where have you been!" exclaimed Rum Tum (Still on the floor)  
  
"Whatthehell?" said a couple of the cats in question at once looking at the Rum Tum Tugger.  
  
"Why are you one the floor with four toms on top of you?"  
  
"It doesn't look to good Tugsy darling… (CT – Take a wild guess who that is… *sigh*)"  
  
"Well they won't gerrof of me Cassandra!!!"  
  
"Use your muscles!" squealed Etcy excitedly.  
  
"First a all 'e's go'ta foind em! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Came Teazer's high pitched voice.  
  
All the toms cracked up at that comment, which gave Tugger the long awaited escape from their grasp.  
  
"Where were you!" sternly said Munkustrap, obviously over his slight spasm of insanity (I promised *$#&^%*$%, you know who you are*grin*, he wouldn't be tortured anymore! *grin*).  
  
"We wen' ou' ta see a man abou' a pollicle."  
  
"Aww pull the offa wun Teaze."  
  
"What she means to say.." Cassandra's aristocratic voice stopped the two cockney "teens" "Is that we went out to an eatery with Etcy and Leccy."  
  
"What eatery?" asked Pouncival  
  
"Why didn't you take me to!" wailed Tumble  
  
"Take US to!" added Pounce  
  
"Cause you were all sleeping with your tongues hanging out!" squealed Electra  
  
"I don't sleep with my tongue hanging out." Said Admetus confusedly (And yes that is a word)  
  
"Noitha do oi."  
  
"Loike you could tewl. Yous asleep a' tha' toime."  
  
"Calm down you two." Said Munkustrap. "You elder Queens? I'm surprised that you didn't even try to tell us you were going. The kits could have gotten hurt, you could have been eaten by a pollicle or worse."  
  
"What's worse than being eaten by a pollice?"  
  
After thinking for a few moments Munkustrap admitted that he had no idea whatsoever.  
  
"Besoides, oi coulda protec'ed 'em wif my shoiny weel on it's 'andle!" Said Rumpleteazer holding up her prize triumphantly.  
  
Even the man in the Peet-Sa restaurant hadn't realised she had it!  
  
(Cori – Can I come back now?) (CT – Oh all right) Suddenly Coricopat appeared. He was somewhat wet and rather (CT – Hold on a sec while I get my trusty thesaurus) aggravated.  
  
"Where have you been?" asked Tantomile curiously (CT – 'Slaps forehead' damnit wouldn't she already know… oopsie.. better try that again)  
  
"Where have you been?" asked Tugger curiously.  
  
"Do you want the long story or the short story?" asked Coricopat  
  
"I advise you take the short one cause there are some things that a few of the kits don't need to hear…" said Tantomile.  
  
"Okay.. the short story then." Said Munkustrap quickly covering Tugger's mouth for the rude comment that was bound to come out of it.  
  
"Well, in short Miss High and Mighty the author of this drivel didn't want me around so she resorted to physical violence in the case of the waterhole she dumped me in and forced me to contemplate life three or four times in one fic!"  
  
All the cats gasped in horror.  
  
"Oi neva thou' oi'd see tha' dai wen Chibi Teaza woul' try an kill a Jellicle by drownin' I'."  
  
"Life goes on though doesn't it." Said Chibi Teazer (It's rather irrelevant how I got into my own story so I'll leave that to your vivid imagination.)  
  
"Not for the drowned Jellicle it doesn't."  
  
"Good point."  
  
Anyway, back to the story.  
  
"What story? You don't have a plot line or anything! You are making this rubbish (Quatsch in German.. he he.. I've done my homework) as you go!" said Alonzo  
  
So what if I am?  
  
"Stop arguing you two!" said Munkustrap trying to stop Alonzo beating up the Author. "We have to go and see this place that the girls went!"  
  
"Uh huh." Said Alonzo uninterestedly.  
  
So all the cats trooped out of the junkyard. It was now about four o'clock. So London was bustling again and because of this people didn't notice the 30 or so cats wandering down the street to the Peet-Sa place. When they got there Etcetera led them to the back of the Peet-Sa parlour and showed them the chef. He looked awfully startled.  
  
"You musta go awaya Kitties! The new head chefa hasa boughta doggie and he willa bite you! Quick! Runa way!"  
  
On hearing this, not wanting to be killed (please note that unless it is a serious fic or something like that no one will be killed 'seriously'.) they all bolted. They ran as fast as their legs would take them. The only person to notice the dog was Rumpleteazer. She didn't have time to tell them all one big point about it as Mungojerrie was trying to fling her over his shoulders and carry her away. She tried to point out that she could walk but he didn't take any notice. When they got back to the junkyard Munkustrap announced:  
  
"We are never going back there again!"  
  
"But why!?" squealed Etcetera and Electra.  
  
"Didn't you hear the chef! There's a filthy pollicle there!"  
  
"Yeah, by' you didn' see wot 'e men'. I' was one a those stupid Chi wow wow's. I' couldna 'urt us no mat'er 'ow agriva'ed I' was."  
  
"Well that Peet-Sa man is never going to feed us again now." Said Electra slightly disgruntled.  
  
So after that day of interesting happenings the junkyard was quiet once more. Everyone was bored, sleepy or napping.  
  
"Wot's at you go' there Teaze?" asked Mungojerrie sleepily.  
  
"My wheel, I's really kewl. I' an cu' frough heapsa stuff."  
  
"Oh,"  
  
And they promptly fell asleep.  
  
Okay, that's the end of the edible plates. I might make a sequel saga to it called Rumpleteazer's Wheel or something like that but It won't be very soon. I've finished off all my unfinished sagas now. 


End file.
